CRATER CRITTER PHOBIA
Hey...this is your ole’ pal Sarge . When I was in the military, I thought I had seen every dumbass God ever put on this great earth of His. But, when I retired and took up golf, I soon realized that I hadn’t.
Now I know you have heard me go on about numbskull golfers, who think raking a sand bunker is a job for the grounds crew! Heaven for bit that these pansies butts would actually pick up a gull darned rake and cover over the foxhole they just dug leaving the next golfer in there a decent lie.
If you have a phobia about sand trap rakes...get over it! The next time you are in a sand bunker...rake the danged thing...ya got that and I don’t mean just pushing the sand around with your danged foot...use the blasted rakes...that is why the club bought them.
The next most infuriating thing that really gets my fatigues in a wad is golfers who have their head up their head cover so far they think that there are some weird little “crater critters” that come out in the middle of the night and puts all those little divots on the green. So, in order not to get these little fellows all stirred up, they figure it is best to not disturb their little craters; even the one their ball just made.
I hope every meathead golfer who does not fix their divot on the green has ten thousand of those little “crater critters” set up a permanent bivouac in their shorts! If your ball makes a divot on the green fix the dang thing; those little "crater critters" ain’t goin ta kill ya!
My pal Corey knows what I am talking about. He got so upset with folks not fixin’ divots he started his own company calledKing Golf and designed a long handled weapon for those knuckle heads who are afraid of “carter critters”.
Now I know you have heard me go on about numbskull golfers, who think raking a sand bunker is a job for the grounds crew! Heaven for bit that these pansies butts would actually pick up a gull darned rake and cover over the foxhole they just dug leaving the next golfer in there a decent lie.
If you have a phobia about sand trap rakes...get over it! The next time you are in a sand bunker...rake the danged thing...ya got that and I don’t mean just pushing the sand around with your danged foot...use the blasted rakes...that is why the club bought them.
The next most infuriating thing that really gets my fatigues in a wad is golfers who have their head up their head cover so far they think that there are some weird little “crater critters” that come out in the middle of the night and puts all those little divots on the green. So, in order not to get these little fellows all stirred up, they figure it is best to not disturb their little craters; even the one their ball just made.
I hope every meathead golfer who does not fix their divot on the green has ten thousand of those little “crater critters” set up a permanent bivouac in their shorts! If your ball makes a divot on the green fix the dang thing; those little "crater critters" ain’t goin ta kill ya!
My pal Corey knows what I am talking about. He got so upset with folks not fixin’ divots he started his own company called
I mean just look at this thing...it is a regular golf shaft with sturdy grip on one end and a heavy duty divot tool on the other end. Now you can fix your divot and not have to be afraid of being mulled by a “crater critter” cause you can fend them off with this Big Boy! Plus you don’t have to bend over in fear of being attack from the rear...if you know what I mean!
Now, listen up...I want you to go over to
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